It’s Never Too Late To Get Your Shit Together

Hi! I’m Lauren. I’m a University of Florida psych grad turned flight attendant. In 2011 I became a flight attendant in Fort Lauderdale, FL and on a whim, I decided to move to Denver, CO in 2013. I completely fell in love with the mountains and the city of Denver and the move was one of only three times in my life that I KNEW I was meant to do something.

Since my company didn’t have a flight attendant base in Denver, I had to commute to the nearest base I could work from which was Las Vegas. So from 2013 until 2016, I was what we call a “commuter” flight attendant. This may sound fun, but believe me, it was a nightmare. My commute was via airplane which ended up costing me on average 8 hours of my day before my shift even began. Similarly, when I ended work in Vegas, it could easily be 6 to 10 hours before I’d see my front door. Flying standby is free for flight attendants but commuting is not paid.

Point being, it was a lot of sitting around the airport being depressed about being in the airport and not making any money. Because of the distance between home and work I had to stack my trips together which meant I would be gone anywhere between 6 and 14 days at a time. If I got stuck in Vegas between my work trips I either had to pay for a hotel or sleep in the airport. It took a major toll on me both mentally and physically.

So in December 2016, after 3 and a half years of this and a handful of traumatizing events in my personal life, I finally threw my hands up and decided I’m DONE. In order to eliminate the commute to work, my husband and I moved from our most loved city of Denver to Dallas, Texas….

Yeah, Texas.

OK, I have to say, I totally misjudged Dallas. We’ve lived here for a year now and we’re actually really liking it. After dropping the commute to work and eliminating the stressors that I’d been battling in Denver, my life suddenly became pretty uncomplicated!

With this new simplicity to life you would think things would just fall into place and suddenly become easy. As it turns out, life doesn’t exactly work that way. Over time I slowly realized that I didn’t know how to live an uncomplicated life. For the 3 and a half years prior to the move, I’d been dealing with incredibly stressful situations: my mom got terminal cancer and died, two friends on two separate occasions were murdered, I bought a house, dealt with horrible roommates (let’s just say I carried a knife in my pocket), I ran an AirBnB, got engaged, planned a wedding I never wanted (I love my husband but I never wanted a wedding), got married, weathered explosive family drama, all while struggling through the flight attendant commute life. That’s what my life had become, dealing with stress, drama, fear, anxiety, depression, and grief. To the point of having nearly constant psychosomatic physical pain. How was I supposed to just spring back now that so many of the stressors in my life were suddenly gone?

It was the start of 2017 and I was 29, looking 30 right in the face, and felt totally lost. Like desperate lost. Like how the hell did I get here lost. I didn’t like my job, I didn’t like my life, and I didn’t know where to turn.

I’m sure you’re probably wondering how this story ends and it really doesn’t, but I can tell you I am leaps and bounds far better from where I was almost a year ago or even just 6 months ago. The events that lead to my radical life change are sort of ironic, but to make it short, I finally got fed up.

Things had been going pretty well for a while after our move to Texas and I was working on healing in a now non-stressful environment when suddenly…boom. More unsolicited family drama and I don’t mean normal family drama. This is pure, dark, narcissistic, on the psychopathic spectrum kind of hate being spued at me for literally no reason what-so-ever. This had been happening on and off for quite some time, I mean years.

In the past when this would occur I wouldn’t know how to handle it. I wasn’t able to filter it out and go on with my life without it affecting me. This time was really no different except, I got fed up. I said to myself, “This is happening. Now, what can you do about it?”

This is what lead me down an incredible path of self-discovery, healing, and getting toxic people the F out of my life for good. There’s no greater cure for something than to get fed up. To get so fed up that you’d do anything, at any cost, to irradicate whatever it is in your life that’s bringing you hell. There’s no feeling in the world greater than eliminating something that’s caused you so much grief.

Since this experience, my growth has continued and bled into other parts of my life. I realized I wanted more for myself. I realized that my life had become so consumed with operating around so much stress, and people pleasing, and not taking care of my needs. Basically, I felt like I woke up and saw things clearly for the first time in years.

Since then I’ve made commitments to myself. I’ve committed to continue growing and allow the person I know has been waiting inside of me to bloom. I’ve committed to living a life not controlled by fear but controlled by faith, to never stop learning, and to always fail forward. I’ve committed to using my natural born abilities for the greater good, to help others who are struggling, and to create a safe space for those in need of support and guidance.

These commitments are what lead me to create Project Get It Together. This blog is not only about my journey but all of our journeys to become the best versions of ourselves. I hope to inspire you to love yourself as much as you love your dog, your best friend, or your child. I want to remind you to never let the world dim your light and help you realize that failing doesn’t make you a failure and your imperfections are what make you perfect. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to you. This blog is about living fully, realizing your potential, and accepting abundance in your life. It’s a place for love, laughter, and tears, a place to feel safe and belong. It’s a place to get it together.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s